Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Crosshit

A couple of months ago,
 I said I was done talking about Crossfit.  
Well, I lied. 


1. It is expensive.  Why charge an outrageous amount of money for workouts and space that is inferior to a "globo" gym? If you can contract all 3 forms of hepatitis somewhere, it is not elite.

2. Anyone who tries to trademark their workouts is an asshole. You did not create calisthenics, running, gymnastics, or weightlifting.

3. To be a Crossfit certified "coach", all you have to do is spend $1200 for a weekend seminar where someone teaches you how to do Olympic or "Oly" lifts with shitty form.  If all of your certifications are from Crossfit HQ, you are not a well rounded personal trainer and cannot advertise yourself as such.

4. They create their own pretentious language by abbreviating every word they use. A gym is a place you go to exercise, not a box.

5. Prescribing or RXing (another stupid ass abbreviation commonly used) weight is stupid.Your goal should be to lift as heavy as possible within the set and rep range prescribed while maintaining proper form, NOT to just throw weight around to the feed your ego because your mom didn't hug you enough as a child.

6. Doing timed Olympic lifts is dangerous and encourages bad form.

7. Paleo. A caveman in Africa would not eat the same foods that a caveman in Asia would eat even though they were living at the same time.  That is just common sense. But, if you have limited your carb intake and sworn off sugar, you wouldn't have any sense because you are brain dead.

8. The goal of Crossfit is to be good at Crossfit.

9. When I have asked several Crossfitters why the "WODs" are so inconsistent, their responses have always been something to the extent of "to be ready for anything". Crossfitters evidently moonlight as doomsday preppers.

10. Crossfitters are so damn cocky and that is rich coming from a girl who competes in bedazzled bikinis!  If people who do Crossfit can stop talking bragging about doing Crossfit, they might tolerable but that will never happen... until they pop their Achilles by doing high rep box jumps.

For more reasons, check out my buddy's Facebook page, ihatecrossfit.com!

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